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Bump Denial

December 1, 2011

written 11/17/11

Let’s talk about bump denial.

Hello, my name is Sarah,  I’m in my 28th week, and I have bump denial.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I am sporting an undeniable bump of significant proportion.  The trouble is, I still don’t think I look as big as I actually do.  You see, when I look in the mirror I still see my 20 week old belly, when in actuality pictures (and people) tell a different story.

20 week belly–AKA what I see in the mirror

I am in denial.

It’s not that I don’t want to look pregnant or that I don’t love the growing bump in front of me.

Rather, I have some weird disconnect between my mirrored self and my real self.  I know I don’t have those trick skinny mirrors so I don’t know what’s happening.

Perhaps my mind is playing tricks on me so that I can continue to love my ever-growing self.  Maybe I would be stressing out if I saw myself as I actually appear.  Who knows.   It’s a strange thing.

In actuality, my 20 week bump looks nothing like my 28 week bump.  It’s funny how things have worked this way.

In the beginning, I swear I would see myself with a much bigger bump than the pictures would show. For example, at 15 weeks, I was convinced my bump was big enough to alert others that I was growing a baby and not just getting fat.  HAHA, I was nutso!  I did have a bump, but it could have easily passed as packed on pounds.

And, here I am now thinking that people might still confuse my round belly for packed on pounds.  Nope.  I definitely look pregnant.  Beer bellies don’t even look that round.  It’s okay though, I love my bump and the fact that is now alerting strangers to my pregnancy.

I knew it was doing its job when the bus driver started to kneel the bus for me in the mornings.  Prior to 26 weeks, he wouldn’t bother with the extra step prior to my boarding.  But, then out of the blue, without my asking he started to lower it for me.  Translation–I look pregnant enough to need help with that extra high step.  I’ll take it though. In the earlier weeks it was getting difficult to pull myself up the step and I was preparing myself to ask him to lower it for me.

Another reminder of my pregnant proportions came while I was checking out at our local VS.  One of the associates recognized me and asked if I was so and so’s wife–no, I wasn’t, but I told her I was another one of her past coworkers wives.  She responded “I knew I recognized you from somewhere.  Sorry about that, you both look similar and she’s pregnant too…”  After the fact (thinking I didn’t look so pregnant) I wished I could have joked and said that I wasn’t pregnant.  I would have loved to see the look on her face!  Unfortunately, I’m now beyond the point of confusion and won’t get to embarrass any strangers.

It’s been a fun transition though, and with time dwindling I can see myself missing my new body once it’s gone.  After birth, I’ll undoubtedly be sporting a plump pouch, and we all know there isn’t cooing and awwing over a jiggly belly.  Fortunately, I’ll have a sweet cuddly newborn as my new attention grabber.

24 weeks

November 11, 2011

written 10/27/11

I had the worse dream in the world this week.

You know, the kind of gut-wrenching dream nightmare that wakes you from your sleep in the middle of the night.  You awaken to a wet face, soaked in tears, your face stuck in a grimace.  It was one of those.

 

……..We (husband and I) were randomly riding around in a cab when the cab driver suddenly stopped and kicked us out in the middle of nowhere.  I was pissed in the dream and confronted him with a hysterical fithis response was a swift kick to my pregnant belly.  I immediately keeled over and screamed in pain “My baby! My baby!”  

We were then rushed to the hospital to have an ultrasound and I immediately asked the tech if she (our baby-whom we don’t know the sex of) was okay.  His response “Well, he’s not a she, and I don’t see a heartbeat…let me get the doctor”………..

 
The dream ended like that and I never found out if baby was okay.  I told you.  It was horrid.

The only sense I can make out of it is that Maple, our min-pin was sleeping next to my belly when I awoke.  Perhaps her tiny foot jabbed my stomach while I slept and spurred the crazy chain of events.  Who knows?  All I knew is that I didn’t want to go back to sleep until I felt baby move.

I also got sick again this week as the random bouts of morning sickness continued to linger around.  Let me tell you, morning sickness is not fun, even if it only lasts for an hour or so.  I am so tired of saying goodbye to the breakfast I just ate and am hoping for some relief.  I don’t know how I would deal if I were one of those unfortunate woman who are sick 24/7–it would make me miserable.

In other news, baby has been moving up storm!  I’m not quite sure what it’s doing, but lately it feels like he or she is performing a floor routine inside me.  One second I’ll feel kicks to the bladder, the next I’ll feel squirming in my upper right or left side.  It’s an awkward feeling, but I’ll take it!  I love having a constant reminder that baby is active and doing well and feeling the random jabs does that.

24 weeks, 2 days

Tutorial Tuesdays: Homemade Heart Tarts

November 8, 2011

Many months ago, in honor of  our first married Valentine’s day, I set out to bake these yummy treats for my beloved hubby.

Upon sharing our Valentine’s Day plans with the hive, I received more than a couple of requests to share the recipe and am happy to finally oblige.

*The Filling

Homemade Blueberry Filling from Scratch

(using supplies I had on hand, feel free to make changes)

What You’ll Need:

  • 1 bag of frozen blueberries
  • 1 cup of sugar
  • water
  • lemon
  1. Place blueberries, sugar, lemon (to taste), and water (just covering blueberries) in a pan and set to high.
  2. **Bring to boil and reduce heat to simmer on a low boil 30-60 minutes.  Your filling is ready when it’s nice and thickened (a good way to test this is by dipping a spoon and removing it…if the filling coats the spoon with minimal dripping it should be thick enough)

**Note: If you want to hurry this process along you can use a thickening agent like starch or gelatin.

*Time Saver TipAlternatively, to save on time and effort, you could easily purchase pre-made pie-fillings at your local grocer.  I even used cold hot fudge (for sundae topping) that I had on hand as an additional filling and it was delicious!

While, your choice of filling is happily simmering, and thickening up to ooey-gooey deliciousness, prepare your crust.

The Pastry Crust

What You’ll Need:

  • flour-2-1/2 cups
  • egg yolks-2 small
  • butter-3/4 cup
  • sugar-1/4 cup
  • salt-1/2 teaspoon
  • ice water-4-6 tablespoons

First, you need to make the butter and sugar mixture…


Blend the butter and sugar mixture until light and fluffy.

Next, you’ll need to beat the yolks and add them to the butter mixture while alternating with the flour and salt.

Mix/blend dough with pastry blender while slowly adding the ice water until it forms a “crumbly”-looking mixture.  Once it gets to this point you can roll it up into workable balls (you will need to work with a floured surface and hands to prevent sticking).

Once, your dough has chilled and your filling is ready you can go ahead to the next steps of rolling and cutting the dough, and filling the tarts.

Now, you can either pop these beauties in the oven at 375 degrees as is, or brush them with a nice egg wash and add some colored sugar for fun.  I chose to do both!  Bake until the edges are golden brown and allow to cool slightly before moving them off the pan.

23 weeks

November 7, 2011

written 10/20/11

The return of morning sickness has not been fun and it’s now accompanied by a new addition that I find hard to describe.

The best way to describe my morning is that it feels like I’m getting squished in a big bear hug just below my ribs.  It leaves me feeling very uncomfortable and slightly out of breath,but not in the traditional sense.  More like I have less air gasping capacity and I need to actively breathe in deep to get a good breath.

The funny thing is that the feeling subsides after a couple of hours of get-up-and-go.  Perhaps gravity is doing its job in pushing baby a tad lower and away from squashing my internal organs.  Who knows?!  I hear that this feeling is common and that my growing baby/womb are to blame.  I even found this neat depiction of what is happening to my organs as this pregnancy progresses and it does makes sense.

One very fun thing about this week was that Craig finally felt his definite baby kicks.  This time there was no doubting what he was feeling and he was happy to finally get a glimpse of what I’ve felt for the past 6 weeks.

We’ve also begun to make our nesting plan.  Though, we’ve had it in our heads for a while now, we put things on hold because our plan involves having a good amount of money saved up.  Among many things, we’ve decided to re-carpet our apartment before baby gets here.  Now, this is no easy process.  When we moved in 2+years ago Molly, our dog, was a puppy–a puppy that peed A LOT on the carpet in the nursery (among other places).

No amount of cleaning has been able to get the smell out and it was easy enough to ignore when we didn’t have to go in there, but we can’t ignore it any longer.  We’ve decided (I mean my husband has decided) to do all the preliminary work himself.  This involves tearing out the old carpet and padding and sealing the floors with Killz to seal in the odor.  I’ll admit, my lazy self is glad I can’t help with a large portion of this project (because of the fumes) and am proud that he is so willingly taking on the task.

We haven’t begun work yet, but plan to over the next month.  My job in all of this is to organize my craft station.  It now takes up a good corner of our living room and has been something that I’ve put off for far too long.  We actually began ‘operation get my crap hidden’ back in April, but with the pregnancy and craziness of life I haven’t touched it since.  I also get the fun job of decorating the nursery when it’s ready to go–a task I’m much more excited about.

23 weeks, 2 days

22 weeks

November 7, 2011

written 10/13/11

Oh boy! Oh girl!  Whatever baby is, we know one thing, he or she is a stubborn mule.

We had our secondary ultrasound (to get clearer pictures of the heart) and still have zero insight as to what our little G-baby is.

Fortunately, baby still looks good and they were able to get all the pictures of the heart that they needed.  This time baby was in a breech position with its legs scrunched in such a way that we still couldn’t catch a glimpse.

The tech also rechecked the placenta, but it still hasn’t moved so we get yet another sonogram at 28 weeks.  Maybe baby will want to share by then–I’m not getting my hopes up, just hoping that the placenta moves so we won’t have to think about changing our birthing plan.

Prior to leaving we also scheduled my glucose screening test for November 1.  I’m not sure what to think about that–I’ve heard so many horror stories of women failing the 1-hour test and being tortured through the 3-hour test.  I’m really hoping it won’t come down to that.

I’ve also begun to  feel nauseous in the mornings again and the gags have made an unfortunate return.

On the plus side, I can feel baby moving from the inside AND outside, and I felt my first movement above my belly button.

Craig also felt the baby move for the first time at the start of this week though he isn’t 100% convinced it was the baby.

I also ended up doing a little shopping after the US appointment and bought some new (non-maternity) clothes in bigger sizes.  I had hoped to buy some cute baby clothes, but since baby didn’t want to share I decided it made more sense to splurge on myself.

And, now for my worry of the week.  Husband has finalized his new work schedule (YAY employment) and for the first 4 months he works 5am-1pm, which means I have to take the bus into work in the mornings.  This is not a big deal now, but it might be interesting as my bump grows and I begin to waddle my way around. What has me concerned is what our birth plan will be like.

What happens if I go into labor when my husband is at work?!  He is now working in a salt mine as an explosive technician and will have limited access to the phones, so there is a slim chance he might not get the call when the time comes.  What’s worse, it takes a full hour to get in/out of the mine and I’m not even sure how things work in emergency circumstances.

I’ve decided that I need to start thinking of a game plan for transportation and determine who I can call at a moments notice so I can get to the hospital (if I’m home alone).  I do plan on working up until the end and I’m not even sure of those logistics just yet.  What if I go into labor while I’m at work ?!  Ummm…have you seen The Office episode when Pam goes into labor?  I’m sure one of my coworkers would be able to help in getting me to the hospital, but is that something that I really want?

Ideally, in a perfect world, baby will decide it’s time after 5pm or during the weekend–not between the hours of 4:30 am-1 pm when my husband will be unavailable.  There is still so much to think of and so much that I can’t really plan for since going into labor isn’t something you can simply mark on the calendar.

 

22 weeks, 6 days

21 weeks

November 3, 2011

written 10/6/11

This week, we bought baby its first book…

and my dear hubby read it to my belly while we lied in bed that night.  Baby must have liked it because as soon as he started reading baby started squirming. It makes me wonder if baby can actually recognize his voice.  He (my hubby) also laid his head on my belly for a good 30 minutes trying to see if he could hear or feel anything while baby moved.  There were a couple of times he thought he might have felt something while I was feeling movement, but neither of us are sure.

A few days later, towards the end of the week, I was pretty sure I felt baby kicking around from the outside and was reassured the next day when I felt a definite jab above my belly button.  I’m still not sure if this baby is kicking or punching me though–at my last sono baby was vertex (head down) and majority of movement I’ve been feeling is in my lower belly.  The kicks I did feel were slightly higher so my guess is that they’re actually punches, not kicks.  It is exciting though and a nice reminder that those strange squirmy feelings in my belly are actually baby and not random muscle spasms.

Oh, and let’s not forget how my tummy has become a force to be reckoned with!  I’m seriously hungry all the time.  I’ve tried the snacking throughout the day thing, but go figure I’m not always hungry when I should be snacking so I put it off for a bit.  I’ve also stopped gaining weight which makes me feel like I should just eat whatever I want when I am hungry.  Yes, I still focus on getting healthy nutrients, but I don’t stop myself from eating that juicy cheeseburger I’ve been craving.  Clearly I’m not over doing it or I would be gaining weight like crazy.

I’m guessing my standstill on the scales has something to do with my starting weight.  My midwife recommended that I plan to gain between 15-20lbs during this pregnancy based on my overweight starting point.  I was also warned that because I had dropped weight pre-pregnancy (15 lbs) that my body would want to compensate for that and put it back on right away.

Well, I’m guessing she was right because the majority of the weight that I’ve put on was immediate and in my first trimester.  I’d like to think that I’ve only gained 7-8lbs because my starting weight is a bit confusing.  Do I go by the weight I was at my 4 week confirmation appointment (when I had already began to gain the weight I had just lost back) or do I use the number that I was in February before I lost the weight?  I’m also convinced that the scale at my OB’s office adds 3+ lbs—I swear when I get weighed at home then at my primary doctor the weights are comparable, but when I do the same at this office it’s always about 3-4lbs more.  I don’t think I’m eating 4 lbs of food from my morning weighin to my afternoon appointment, so I regress and blame the scales.  So, as of now, If I go from my 8 week appointment weight I’ve only gained 5lbs, if I go by my 4 week confirmation appointment I’ve put on 8lbs.

Overall, I’m not overwhelming concerned about my weight gain.  The midwives tell me that I’m right on track and if they’re not bothered, I’m not either.

21 weeks, 3 days

Pinterest and Pregnancy/Baby Planning

October 31, 2011

I’m sure most of you have heard of Pinterest by now, but if you haven’t you seriously need to go and check it out.  It’s become a new obsession for me and is a very useful tool for my overcrowded brain.

I’ve used it for finding nursery inspiration and for keeping track of my wishlists (whether it be maternity clothing, baby gear, or keepsakes).  I LOVE IT!

Lately, as you may have guessed I’ve used it to pin DIY ideas for pregnancy/baby.

I really wanted to make this for Halloween, but had zero time…

via

And, this adorable lace crown, which would be perfect for a newborn shoot (for a girl)….

via

I even found this little gem of a tutorial on how to make a stuffed squirrel from an old glove!

via

And, of course there are these sewing tutorials that I cannot wait to try.

Maternity clothes never looked so cute and simple to make.

via

This blanket seems like an easy add to the nursery…

via

And, these baby booties are simply darling!

via

 

These are just a fraction of the great DIY ideas I’ve pinned.  I seriously, cannot wait until I have some down time so I can get to work on my long list of pins.

What are you pinning these days?   What projects do you have planned/have you done?

 

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