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Bump Denial

December 1, 2011

written 11/17/11

Let’s talk about bump denial.

Hello, my name is Sarah,  I’m in my 28th week, and I have bump denial.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I am sporting an undeniable bump of significant proportion.  The trouble is, I still don’t think I look as big as I actually do.  You see, when I look in the mirror I still see my 20 week old belly, when in actuality pictures (and people) tell a different story.

20 week belly–AKA what I see in the mirror

I am in denial.

It’s not that I don’t want to look pregnant or that I don’t love the growing bump in front of me.

Rather, I have some weird disconnect between my mirrored self and my real self.  I know I don’t have those trick skinny mirrors so I don’t know what’s happening.

Perhaps my mind is playing tricks on me so that I can continue to love my ever-growing self.  Maybe I would be stressing out if I saw myself as I actually appear.  Who knows.   It’s a strange thing.

In actuality, my 20 week bump looks nothing like my 28 week bump.  It’s funny how things have worked this way.

In the beginning, I swear I would see myself with a much bigger bump than the pictures would show. For example, at 15 weeks, I was convinced my bump was big enough to alert others that I was growing a baby and not just getting fat.  HAHA, I was nutso!  I did have a bump, but it could have easily passed as packed on pounds.

And, here I am now thinking that people might still confuse my round belly for packed on pounds.  Nope.  I definitely look pregnant.  Beer bellies don’t even look that round.  It’s okay though, I love my bump and the fact that is now alerting strangers to my pregnancy.

I knew it was doing its job when the bus driver started to kneel the bus for me in the mornings.  Prior to 26 weeks, he wouldn’t bother with the extra step prior to my boarding.  But, then out of the blue, without my asking he started to lower it for me.  Translation–I look pregnant enough to need help with that extra high step.  I’ll take it though. In the earlier weeks it was getting difficult to pull myself up the step and I was preparing myself to ask him to lower it for me.

Another reminder of my pregnant proportions came while I was checking out at our local VS.  One of the associates recognized me and asked if I was so and so’s wife–no, I wasn’t, but I told her I was another one of her past coworkers wives.  She responded “I knew I recognized you from somewhere.  Sorry about that, you both look similar and she’s pregnant too…”  After the fact (thinking I didn’t look so pregnant) I wished I could have joked and said that I wasn’t pregnant.  I would have loved to see the look on her face!  Unfortunately, I’m now beyond the point of confusion and won’t get to embarrass any strangers.

It’s been a fun transition though, and with time dwindling I can see myself missing my new body once it’s gone.  After birth, I’ll undoubtedly be sporting a plump pouch, and we all know there isn’t cooing and awwing over a jiggly belly.  Fortunately, I’ll have a sweet cuddly newborn as my new attention grabber.

One Comment leave one →
  1. December 1, 2011 10:54 am

    I’m the same! People are telling me I’ve popped even though I’ve felt like I’ve had a bump forever.

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